I think we all want to have happy, loving homes with a joyful atmosphere, and some sense of order.
After we make sure we are staying connected to the Source of all that we need (Part I), then what?
God has given us an order. Husbands love your wives. Wives respect your husbands. Children obey your parents.
You (if you are a woman) have no control over the first one, so work with the second and third. :-)
Most of us don't respect our husbands, unfortunately. We have certain things that we respect about our husbands, but we don't respect them ALL of the time just because of their position, which I think is what God wants us to do. If you haven't, please read Created to be His Helpmeet by Debbie Pearl. I can't say it any better than she does, except maybe a little less redneck. But it's the most biblical, no-nonsense, this-is-what-you-can-do-as-a-wife-to-make-a-difference-in-your-marriage, book I've ever read!
As far as children obeying their parents, I've found it to be a balance between discipline and training and friendship and relationship. For great basics on parenting biblically, my favorite book is Don't Make Me Count to Three: A Mom's Look at Heart-Oriented Discipline by Ginger Plowman. I also liked Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp, but Plowman's book is more readable, humorous and practical.
To summarize, the standard has to be set high. You should expect your children to obey you the first time, all the way, and with a happy heart.
But it's easy to go over-the-top and become a drill sergeant, whose children only obey you in your presence. Not good! While keeping high expectations, you also have to have a sense of humor, laugh, play with your children, show them affection, be willing to admit when you are wrong and ask forgiveness, and in general, build a friendship or relationship with them, just like you would with any other person.
Also keep in mind Proverbs 22:6. Most of know this verse as, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." But "in the way he should go" can be translated "according to his bent" or "according to the tenor of his way." That means if you have multiple children you can't treat them all the same way and expect the results to be the same. Hmm... that makes things a little more difficult. Is God trying to make it hard? Or maybe make us a little more dependent on Him? Back to the Source on that!
I heard something really interesting last week at church. We had a guest speaker (Chuck Bomar from Colosse Church in Tigard) who said God is never going to call us in a direction that makes us less dependent on Him.
Being a wife and mother and manager of our home keep me very dependent on God. And that's a good thing!